Skint drug dealer begs for orders so hes not forced do helicopter on OnlyFans

A skint and entrepreneurial drug dealer sent a round-robin text message to his customers begging for them to order in bulk so that he doesn't have to turn to OnlyFans to make ends meet.

The UK-based dealer had his message passed to Twitter profile 'Shotta Texts', a profile that compiles and shares humorous messages from the underworld workers.

In his text, the desperate dealer says he will be forced to turn to the adult subscription site if orders don't come in.

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The down on his luck dealer wrote: "Yo ppls! Cozzy Living Crisis got me feeling kinda broke, need you all to spend massive amounts of moneys today so I don't have to make an OnlyFans showing everyone how to do the helicopter.

"Why am I like this. Get your orders in ASAP."

And the wheeler dealer isn't the only one getting creative during the 'Cozzy Living Crisis', with another bloke pulling off a marketing masterclass by offering up staples alongside people's weed orders.

This particular dealer made it to Shotta Texts by offering a free loaf of "freshly baked" bread with every order of cannabis.

Twitter users were, for the most part, thoroughly impressed with the scheme, with one writing: “Imma gonna have a chat with my guy, he needs to up the ante like this bro or I’m going elsewhere!! Free bread to make cheese and ham toasties at 3am is a superb.. have you [got] his number?”

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A second added: “Dealers doing more to tackle cost of living than the Tories…..”

But a third wryly pointed out: “First loaf is free, but that's just to get you hooked. Fast forward a few weeks and you're on the phone at 3am asking what's fresh.”

In 2019/20, 29.6% of people in England and Wales aged between 16 and 59 had used cannabis at least once during their lifetime – a figure that was up from 23.6% in 2001/02.


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